The other week I was just hanging outside of my building when I was introduced to a Russian boy. Not thinking much of it, I extended my hand towards him. Pulling away with a scowl the Russian replied in a harsh accent "You are woman." Taken aback, I found myself offended and annoyed. Despite my feelings, I apologized for the attempt at socially unacceptable physical contact and continued to get to know my new aquaintance.
Unfortunately, the subject matter of me being a vegetarian quickly came up. Admittedly bragging, I mentioned that I had made the decision as a stubborn 3 year-old and abided by my personal law ever since. Clearly unimpressed, his snark reply was an insulting laugh and the words "Man is killer, and is meant to be killer. Being vegetarian does no good for world and hurts own body." At this point I was clearly agitated. Being a vegetarian is something that I am extremely proud of and have been for practically my entire life. "I am perfectly healthy, thank you" I practically barked back at him.
Feeling guilty at the snap, I took a moment to breathe and once again tried to understand the cultural barrier. Continuing on the conversation, I tried to stay on a neutral topic. "Wow, it sure is cold outside" I suggested. Looking at me disgustedly the Russian returns, "Well, you need to dress warmer if you ever want to have babies." Apparently its inappropiate to touch a woman's hand, yet it is appropirate to speak about her bearing future children... now I was over it. I couldn't stand to be around the man for much longer.
I turned to be friends and began having a conversation with them to distract be from my rising anger level. Almost immediately, I felt the color come back into my pale skin, my body ease, and a smile return to my face. This new and happy state did not last for a very long period of time. Seeing my apparent happiness, the russian once again stepped into the picture. Interrupted, quite rudely I might add, he continues to tell me, "In Russia when people smile for no apparent reason they are considered fucking retard" I know he probably wasn't calling me a "fucking retard" but at the moment, thats what it sure felt like. My breaking point was crossed once and for all. I looked at him with a huge grin and said "good thing we are in America then"My blood was boiling and I simply walked away. Thinking back, I still feel guilty at my intolerance for the unfamiliar culture. He was only acting in the manner that he was raised. The conflict lies within the two separate and clashing socieites.
Well just to be honest, I don't think you need to feel bad or apologize for anything. That guy is a jerk, no matter what country he's from. You handled yourself very well, and it astounds me when someone who is a guest in another country could be so offensive to its citizens. Now I'm mad! You're so cute and sweet. Let's find him between classes and beat him up! =)
ReplyDeleteLets imagine the situation was reversed. Would you go to Russia and expect everyone there to know every subtle bit of body language that means something different to an American? No! You might think their own customs are a little awkward and strange. But you'd go along with it and maybe get a little homesick at the worst. But would you tell them that they, in their own country, can't behave the way they always behave because you are in town? HELL NO! I agree with Lou. He was just a jerk and don't you spend another minute feeling guilty.
ReplyDeleteI quite enjoyed the response, "good thing we are in AMERICA then!" with the huge grin. Awesome. He'll probably learn to be more open-minded after a few more lines like that are spit back out at him; either that, or he'll call up his KGB buddies crying to pick him up and bring him home. Ha Ha crazy fool.
ReplyDeleteLet's pretend he isn't a giant D bag and he really thought he was just making conversation, and wasn't trying to provoke you after he knew he could get an emotional rise out of you. Well if so, then the cultural differences will definitely become more apparent in his cold, thick, Russian skull.
I admire your maturity in such an offensive situation however. I admire how you didn't intentionally offend him by finding a way to make fun of him. The way you wrote this piece you definitely gave him the benefit of the doubt. Nice work.
I found this very funny because that's EXACTLY how people are from my country. & the thing is, i know exactly why he said ALL the things he said. TRUST ME, he was not trying to be mean. You have to know the culture and how we are brought up to understand.
ReplyDeleteSince he is "fresh off the boat" he doesn't understand that those things offend most people out of our culture, he will soon find out though when he has no friends lol.