Confessions of a mom in the making

Here I am, a Saturday night, kissing the foreheads of 3 children as I tuck them in to their beds. Between mistakenly calling me "mommy" all night, proclaiming the days on which it is is "hug lindsey day" (which is everyday if you're wondering), and excessive amounts of "carry me!" time, it is safe to say I am a part time mom.

This whole second life crept up on me, as I was only interested in being a nanny part time for the summer. My one family I sat turned into two which turned into three, and soon enough I was cooking breakfasts, lunches, birthday cakes, picking up from school, and tucking into bed. I was solving conflicts, dissolving fights, rewarding good behavior, and overall falling in love with these the kids I refer to as my own. I often will absent mind-edly say, "oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm watching my kids tonight." This proclamation is generally followed by eyebrow raises, as the person to whom I am speaking to takes a second to think if I mean what I say- we are in Utah after all, correct?

As I go about my routine of watching after these children, I find myself carrying on my mom persona into my every day life. I bring home treats for my roommates, cook dinner for them every now and then and have a stash of bananas waiting for me in the freezer to be made into bread. Even with people my age, I find myself giving more and more forehead kisses and feeling like I have an obligation to protect them. Even if I do want the last cookie, my mommy instincts inside me cause me to give it up.

My biggest question is what the heck is happening to me, and how do I stop this? Not to say it isn't fun to laugh at when I think about it, but hell, I am only 18! I suppose this side has always been apart of me and has now become unleashed, so watch out everyone; it is here and ready to force sweets down throats and give gifts for no reason!